


Komaeda Nagito X Zhongli Crackfic

by geopapinotdead



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2, 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
Genre: Amber Dudebro, Horny Zhongli (Genshin Impact), I just Made Childe cry, Keqing CBT, Komaeda Nagito Being Komaeda Nagito, Other, Tartaglia | Childe Being a Little Shit (Genshin Impact), Tartaglia | Childe Being an Asshole (Genshin Impact), Tartaglia | Childe Being an Idiot (Genshin Impact), Tired Zhongli (Genshin Impact), Zhongli Being an Idiot (Genshin Impact), Zhongli Has No Mora, big dong zhong, geo papi, john lee - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29007999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geopapinotdead/pseuds/geopapinotdead
Summary: TALES OF YOUR MOM There's a lot of inside jokes so if you're a random reader that just randomly found this CURSED (like with a literal spell) story then you won't get many things and I recommend you not to read it or you'll die TOO
Relationships: Tartaglia | Childe (Genshin Impact)/Everyone, Zhongli/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 26
Kudos: 17





	1. Part 1

ONCE UPON A TIME we weerf er in dick townw So this one day the CEO of Geo A.K.A Zhongli was banging his head against a table suddenly Childe broke the door and Zhongli "What the fuck" and he "So apparently we're getting a special visitor tomorrow" so Johnny "Ok can You Fix The Door" and then he fucking fell asleep idk it's 1am and child had to pay everything again because he's a slave of capitalism 

NEXT DAY eggs . Sbreg aarfsgqkksle sbvshwj,als EGGS WITH BACON eggs with bacon for breakfast being cooked by Keqing becayse I kidnapped her and then she "So I had this idea for origin_z what if we add this guy called Jeffrey and he kills himself by shooting his assho" and geo papi coughed "Ahem please continue the food thank you" and yeah and then Lucreta came in and said "Cuzss e i wpm. Whatns. Dsp,at t a osnt on pmint please" and then she continued, "llesiegiweh jsffyab djdbemmdek" so uhh Traveller was there and said "What the fuck did she say" and Paimo "Paimon thinks she to,ld us to reunite outside because apparently Paimon understands stroke!" And Lucreta said "yeah" and yes so all the famous sexy characters were outside BECAUS I want to be cool and also señora was there and everyone was going to kill each other but then ni ngguan came in and said "we have here the god of unnnmmm" I won't make a fucking bagel joke "the god of unfnmmm HOPE hoep!" And nAgito Komaeda walked in with his 54 ft tal,l bulge holy shit and Voltaire and everyone stared in awe and then xiao the tiktok eboy asked "who the fuck is this guy" and Nagito Komaeda started laugh inv and he said "I do not deserve such title trash like me only serves to hope" and ningua said "ok"

So they all put aside their differences and in vited Nagito Komaeda hope daddy to sleep in a deluxe hottie dude room in this hot boy hotel idk and then Komaeda was taking out his wallet and Master Zhongli Top Tier walked in and said "Oh allow me to pay," his walking bank account was behind him and took out his mora with a sigh, Komaeda smiled; "Oh, I apologize, well there is no need for you to pay the Hotel room for me, I do not deserve it, I have money of my own as well." Then traveller, (Aether/Lumine you choose) decided to join the conversation, "Isn't he a guest? Let him come in for free." Komaeda chuckled, "Oh no no! There is no need to do that." Everyone came to an agreement that it should be free, and in he went to his own expensive room to stay the week. Zhongli left and looked at the night sky, disappointed. "What's up?" Bank account asked, John Lee only gave him a smile to say "It's nothing".. His flirting had failed. (Dun dun dun) (That last part made me cringe so bad I al,most cry)

Next day qiqi was walking around Liyue and then she found Childe and he "Fața ta nu merită arsuri solare. Ai fi suficient de curat pentru a scuipa. Te voi bate, dar mi-aș infecta mâinile.Gândește-te că ești o ofensă generală și fiecare om ar trebui să te bată. Scullion! Tu, rampalian! Fustilarian! Îți voi gâdila catastrofa! Ticălosule, am făcut-o pe mama ta. Ești grasă ca untul. Stăpânul tău înțelept! Nu ai mai mult creier decât am în coate. Tărâțimea feței lui îi învârte strugurii coapte. Departe, prost de trei inci! Засранец Иди в баню! Иди на хуй Козёл Мудак Перхоть подзалупная Сволочь Хуй с горы Чтоб тебе дети в суп срали Чтоб у тебя хуй во лбу вырос Я бы вас послал, да вижу вы оттуда! Сволочь Пиздец Хуй Мудак Гандон Гандон Жопа Ебать Сука Блять Гавно Сука Блять Гавно Сука Блять Гавно Сука Блять Гавно Сука Блять Гавно" He was yelling at an ant. "have u seen a cocogoat" qiqi asked. "cococapră NNNNNIEZZZOOOO HAHDHHDJDJSJS" TARTOGLIA laughed his shit off. (Except in the Korean va cuz yk) "u are scary" said qiqi and she walked away. Zhongli was waiting outside of the hotel, until Hope Daddy came out (not of the closet) and there he was. "Hello there" he said. "Hello, would you mind going for a walk with me?" Yjhhon li asked. "Of course." Komaeda papi fuck me smiled. "Childe, we're going shopping." Zhongli exclaimed. Childe followed with a sigh.

Da gorls walking 2 da mall and suddenly daddy sugar says "How about we invite Keqing and Amber over" Zhongli shots death eyes at him and Nagito BabyBoy say s "Oh of course! The more people the better!" So they start walking towards Amy's house and Zhongli whispers "This was supposed to be a date" to infant and he replies "Then why the hell am I here" and Rex lapis papi says "Because you're my bank account" "What why" "Yeah" "Well then Let's make it a double date" tarta de fresa offers "And Amber..?" "Third wheeler" "Why" "Why not" and yeah so they break. In amy house and Amy Keqing is on her laptop "what the fuck do you want" and 👶Child rests his arm on the table "Come on babygirl let's go shopping❤️" and Keqing "do not call me that ever again or ill kill you" So then Zhongli ask "What are you doing May I ask?" "im looking at venti porn for inspiration" "Ok" and then Zhongli noticed all the geo archon posters "And, if it's not improper, what is all of this?" So keqing replied "yeah uh idk it's because of my character" and Sharon "Huh." and then they all left and they looked for Amber "What's up dudebro? I'm a dudebro" (sorry jasmine rhe dudbero thing is funny) "We'd like to invite you to come shopping with us to welcome the Hope God," Me I said me geo papi "Yeah sure!" And there they went walking like hot girl gang doing hot girl shit with stayin' alive playing in the background

So they're at a very modern mall because no shit I don't have any cool ideas and they're walking through and find a subway yeah a subway and then Zhongli "ok I would like to order something wait WHAT THE FUCK" apparently edgy TikTok boy and the chiaki rantaro fusion dude were working there "What happened with your lives lol" asked child pornography wait what the fuck when did pornography get there anyways I'll leave it for the funnies so xiao "yeah I WORK HERE what do you want 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 " he BARKED and Komaeda god I want him so bad said "Mmmh I'm not sure what to choose" and since I'm a fucking simp "Yeah ok buy everything every single sandwich" and Synonym of kid spat a fucking fetus "WHAT" and so he payed and then from behind uhh sucrose came out and Bennett too and they said in unison "wow idol childe wha are you doing here!" And Childe said "hi" then "Bennett you are adopted by me now" and Benito said "ok" and then suckroses "W WHAT whhat abot me... mr chchilde y you said you lo loved me..." and keqing sai "what the fuck" and Childe "I can explain" and then ying'er "YOU said YOu LOVED me TOO" and they all stared at him and so I (John Lee ppapi) said "Childe What The Fuck Did You Do" and Ambermine "What The hell dude" and so childe said "LISTEN" and su corsé run away crying and ying'er "GOD IS DEAD" and keqing said "bye" and Childe yelled "WHY" and I was like 😐

So Geo Papi and Hope Papi were there alone and then ceoofgeo_69 looked at komaeda and sai "I can not take it anymore. Please insert your dick inside me" and komaeda gave some weird hope speech and then they fucked  
So meanwhile keqing broke in kaeya's house and said "hi" and kaeya said "[flirty thing]" and she chopped of his dick lol and kaey "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"  
So meanwhile childe "Sa te futa broasca in cur pe unde bei apa ca te bag in pizda ma-tii in picioarele inainte ca sa-ti dau si muie dupa aia si zii lu ma-ta sa nu isi mai schimbe rujurile ca imi face pula curcubeu. Ba, eu nu pula destula pentru ma-ta, sa ma cac in pizda ma-tii cu bucati de pula. Baga-mi-as pula-n ma-ta pana ii fac pizda tunel de metrou. Sa sugi pula la negrii pana se face alba si oricum parerea mea e sa va duceti in pula mea ca e destula pentru toata lumea. Usca-mi-as schilotii pe crucea ma-tii. Sa imi iei cacatu la polizor pana va sare span in ochi. Baga-mi-as pula in capul vostru de imbecili avortati. Nu valorezi nici cat microbii de anthrax dintre celulele de sperma coclita infestata cu sifilis in pizda curvei de ma-ta pe care o ai. Baga-mi-ati limba-n gaura curului sa-mi gadilati hemoroizii si nu uita sa ii spui ma-tii sa-mi dea banii inapoi. De ziua muncii ma-ta defileaza pe autostrada. Daca slobozul ar eroda ma-ta ar fi la a 10-a proteza. Pizda ma-tii e prea mica ca a intrat la apa la cata sperma fierbinte a inghitit. Nu vezi ca esti un retardat muist si jegos spala-te ca in seara asta merg cu pula in inspectie la tine in gura si nu vreau sa-mi lasi urme pe domnul "capul pulii". In numele poporului te rog sa nu mai sugi pula ca ma-ta e pofticioasa ca a ramas gravida cu un babuin si tot vine la mine sub monitor si ma gadila senzual pe coaie. Vezi ca in dictionar in deptul cuvantului muie gasesti si o poza cu ma-ta." 

But THEN with the power of Zhongli's and komaeda's love all of Childe's women went back to him but then everyone was vibing and tarta de fresa said "Where's keqing" and albedo said let's go to my house and when they were there keqing was vibing blasting PORN and kaeya was bleeding all over the floor and Childe said "wow albedo came home too early" and then keqing said "oops" and kaeya was crying then everyone was eating sliced meat and then when they finished eating keqing said "by the way that was kaeya's dick" and everyone puked all over each other and when everyone was full of vomit Zhongli and komaeda said hi both in wheelchairs and then Zhongli said "I must say something. Komaeda isn't.. really.. the god of hope. He is just a normal person with good luck, mental illnesses and a big dick from another dimension, and I lied to everyone for the sake of meeting him. I'm sorry." And nagito said "You...You lied..? Well, haha, It was expected but, this is so hopeless.. So despair inducing.. Zhongli, I loved you.." and Sharon "Please wait! I can explain!" And then he squeezed komaeda's nipple and moaned SO LOUD everyone died

Zhongli woke up with the sound of a crash, while hugging his komaeda body pillow, he slowly opened his eyes. "It was all a dream..?" He muttered. He looked at his broken door, and noticed Childe standing there. "Good Morning, Cumrad! We have a guest today, the god of hope. Get ready!" And Zhongli thought.. "Oh no, not again." Then he found himself stuck in a loop where everyone died over and over again, and he needed to find the way to stop this loop from happening, but that's for part 2. Thank you for reading! To be continued!


	2. Part 2, The end of the death cycle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TALES OF YOUR MOM  
> Uhhhh read the first one since this chapter is bascislly the consequence of the first one. lots of inside jokes again and its really stupid

Once upon A time in dick town many carzy shit haopnrned SO THEN basically after all the shit from the last fic happened uhhh YEAH well 5this happened just read ok I don’t know how to make introductions fuck you   
“Oh no, not again.” Rock daddy thought to himself for the 5th time by now, after nmany times of the story repeating onver and over again with everyone dying and him waking up again. Aja x soape and geo papi walked out of gthe ?Funny house and encountered wirth all the hot barbs outside. Even though the story was repeetning, sometimes things changed, which always gave johnny hoep for the story to endnf a differebnt way, but it waz alsways the same. Things were startigng to go even more weird this day. Zhongli trkied to make an internal plan inn the way. He tried the way of not squeezing komaedas nipple, but he could never resist it. He tried jnot saying the truth, but it wa.s impossible. He thought to himself each time that maybe he could resist it, but it all ended in tragedy. He needed to find a way to chang e the story, to send komaeda back to his world, to stop the gurofesto so the massive death didn’t happen, and to discobver who was behind all this. So he walked to the reunion where they would all meet the great Komaeda, standing straight and confident, to finally finish this cylce of sufering . “What’s wrong?” Asked walletman. “Nothing’s wrong, let’s go.” Answered tierra papi, conffifden. T   
The time had passed and now it was the moment where everything lost control, the mall. They were walking and looking through the shops until Rex lapapis noticed somethrhing, “holy shit I fuck komaedsa after this but he shoewed no interrst towards me, also this is when Childe’s girlfriends fight with him and fthis causes the gurofesto” he thought to himself, so he had an idea. “I will be back, you all can go on without me.” They all continued the way but infant seemed concerned since this was suppsooeed to be a DATE?

Anywya morax daddy started wlaking at lightning mcqueen speed outside of the mall. He did some kinda awesome tricks and shit and broke in the back of the subway (reståuranté for food) and sneaked intot the kitchem. He peeked and found xiangling, pouring some strange pink liquid into many many sandwiches. “Love potion, as I thought.” He needed to findn the way to stop them from eataing it. And so he saw Albedo staring at him, and he pushed him to the back. “Master Zhongli, I did not expect to find you here. I must say you should not enter this restricted area no matter your identity. Why-“ Geo papi interrupted, “No time for questions, as I have one that is the most important. I have seen the love potion being poured into the sandwiches. You are, the manager of this place. Care to explain?” Albedough looked at the side, “That is not of your concern.” Geo pappy held him tighter. “Oh it is.” “Well.. I was payed over two million mora to spread this potion in the sandwiches. I do not know why, but I believe it does no harm.” But oh, it did harm. Zhongli thought, if it wasn’t for that potion him and Komaeda wouldn’t have passionate sex and be late to the gurofesto that then caused everyone’s death due to the nipple incident. “By whom?” John Lee asked. “I believe if anyone knows I told you this I would loose the mora, but I will tell it to you quickly and quietly since it seems rather important. It was a wealthy man from another dimension named.. Sans.” Nñyon Lee frowned. “Care to mention the whereabouts of this man?” So then Elbeydou whispered carefully, “Dimension 45. That is all I will say.” Archon Daddy let go, which made the blonde let a sigh of relief. “Thank you. Do not ever mention I was here.” And so suckrose walked in, “The j-job is d-done! They have.. ate them now.” Sex Lapis opened his eyes wide open in surprise. Apple man frowned and sighed. “I’ve got to go.” Said sex lapis and as he walked away, he encountered with Childe himself. “Bună, what’s up? There has been a problem between my girlfriends. I need your help.” Oh Coke Hair remembers this part very well, and so he said, “Ed Sheeran I havw an important question would you rather keep the love of all your girlfriends or break from a constant loop where you all miss your memory over and over again and die on the second day over and over again” Synonym of Child looked at him concerned. “Oddly specific. keep the love” Jzhxkongli turned around. “Aleight tahank you.u” and he walked away. He was going to do exactly the opposite.

Zhonflfif had a special ability that would help him either travel to another dimension or let Childe’s girlfriends be not mad at him, and he could only use it once, for plot convenience. Completely ignoring Tortellini’s request, he decided he would save everyone from this suffering loop, as he could let the girlfriends understand they’re in a harem and not an affair and love Pizza Steve again with no trouble without the need of magic, and stop the constant deaths and problems, as he was absolutely loosing his sanity from being the only one who knows about this loop of death. As he was on his way to the portal, he heard a melodic, soft voice he knew very well speak behind him. “Master Zhongli, I have something to tell you.” He turned around hesitantly, to be caught staring at Nagito Komaeda’s beautiful blue eyes. “Ever since I first met you, I have fallen in love with you. Scum like me has no right to expect a hope-filled deity return these feelings for me.. Yet I cannot take this. I need you.” He wanted to recline, he wanted to hurt his feelings for the sake of everyone’s life, yet he couldn’t, his voice, his hair, his beautiful smile, and that fucking 54ft tall bulge he had in his pants leaking were too much for him. I mean, so called “Sans” could wait, right? “Of course, I accept. Please come with me to your hotel room. I will show you my love.” He did not know he would fall in the same mistake once again.

They’re at the bed now and Komaeda “jojhhny johnny” he said seductively “yes papa” john lee answered while sgtaring at him lustfully and holding onto his shirt “want some sugar?” nagito daddy said while slowly unbuttoning his pants “y-yes papa...” johnny said, flustered. He licked his lips, ready to suck Nagito Komaeda’s ball sweat and milkie. Komaeda started pulling his boxers down until his massive pink chode stuck out and he softly but sexily said, “open your mouth.”

Shwonlee blinked slowly and let out a sigh. After the intense blowjob he had given the man he did not expect to be the top, now he was staring at an asleep angelic boy with daddy milkie falling down his thighs@. He looked at the hour, and suddenly he had gotten worried. Soon was the moment of the gurofesto, but he never used his magic on Tortilla as he had promised, so there would be no dick feast, right? Yes, but the worry is what will happen instead. Tartito would go for keqing, there would be a massive fight, and he would discover Zhongli did nothing to help whatsoever, but didn’t travel through the portal either, only for his sexual greed. He stood up and got dressed quickly, he wrote a note and left it next to cockmaeda that read; “I’ll be back.” With a small doodle of terminator at the end. He ran to the portal quickly and took a deep breath, to then step in. After a while he found himself in dimension 45, and was ready to look for sans, until he saw something unusual. “Bennett?” He said out loud. “Master Zhongli? What are ya doing here?” He asked. “Important matters, what are you doing here?” He replied and asked back, “Oh I was just killin’ some slimes for today’s midnight feast.” Juan Li raised his eyebrow. “Midnight feast? Why are you killing slimes all over here in Dimension 45 when there’s many back there?” Benito “Oh, yeah! There’s very juicy and big slimes in this dimension. Also, we decided to make a feast at midnight, I’ll be waiting for ya there!” A zhongli “ok” and he thought “wtf this didnt happen before where was benetttttto last time any2way gotta kill a bitch” so he kicked sans door “Hi” “bro you did not just break my door . . . wait . . . youre not from this dimension” yonli walked closer “No I’m not.” sans smiled “i know why youre here. its because of the cycle, isnt it? you think its my fault because im the one who payed albedo to drug you all. you know the urge to squeeze his nipple is because of it. you know the urge to do . . . romantic activities with him, is because of it. dont you?” Sans said, ominously. “Yes. I need you to stop this cycle.” He walked even closer. “. . . no.” YOLI stared in surprise. “Pardon?” sans kept smiling, but frowning at the same time. “i said no. you stole my boyfriend. he was the love of my life. if this is someones fault, its yours.” Ghost user babykata felt rather offended. “What? You’re the one who keeps ordering for the sandwiches to be drugged, if I can’t stop it it’s because you don’t stop that.” sans seemed more and more annoyed. “look, kiddo, im not the mastermind of this. i cant stop it even if i changed the story, dude. you stole my man. if i tried to stop this, hed stay with you. i rather watch you die over and over again to fulfill my rage and watch you go insane in this infinite loop, than letting a selfish person such as you stay with the purest, kindest person ive met. youre wasting your time.” Zhongli grabbed the small skeleton from the shirt. “Get over him. He doesn’t love you anymore and that’s why he’s with me. Tell me who’s the mastermind.” A drop of sweat fell from sans’ boney sexy forehead. “yes, but before that, you will have to see the consequences. beat me in a battle.” Zhongli let him on the floor, and looked at his eyes directly. He nodded confidently. “kay dude, youll have a baaad time.” Megalovania started playing, the war begun between the geo archon and the hardest undertale boss. 

PSSHHHW PSSHW SLASH SLASH PUNCH PUCJNHNHHCC DROPCKICKS YOU PUNCHES YOUR FACE SO HARD SHOOTS YOUR BALLS OHNMY FUCKIGN GOD IM BLEEDING YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH CRACKS YOUR NECK KILLS YOUR MOM EATS YOUR TOES PEES ON YOU GRABS YOUR DICK AND CUTS IR IN HALF SCFCRREAMS BLEEDS MORE BLEEDS SLAPS YOUR FACE OFFENDEDLY PULLS YOUR HAIR LIKE A SEÑORA FROM EL BARRIO DE TEPITO SWALLOWS YOUR EYES FUUUCCKKK FUCK FUCK FUC YOUUUUUU atfter a vehry violent battle... sans “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH YOU FUCKIGN PSYCOPATH 8M FICKING DYIN G ARE YOU FUKCINGB KIDIDNG ME????!!!!!! listen bro . . . you won . . . the real mastermind is in dimension 69 . . . its . . . mark . . . mark zuckerberg . . . heh . . . heh heh . . . well done . . .” sans fucking dies   
you can hear like a million fangirls screaming so fucking loud from the avici

Meanwhile back at Liyue childe is singing under xiao’s balcony “Noaptea golanii, nu fac nani-nani Ei fac combinații, când sforăie alții Scot mașinile-le, bat cluburile-le, gagicile-le Le-le-le-le-le-le-le Femeile, mașinile, figurile, cluburile, le-le-le-le Să vină dezbrăcatele Sus pe capotă, cu ele pe capotă Hai dezbrăcatelor, să va dea băiatu' nota Femeile, mașinile, figurile, cluburile, le-le-le-le Să vină dezbrăcatele Sus pe capotă, cu ele pe capotă Hai dezbrăcatelor, să va dea băiatu' nota Hai trage-le mami, fii rea, haide mami Nici noaptea golanii nu fac nani-nani Hai trage-le mami, fii rea, haide mami Nici noaptea golanii nu fac nani-nani Haide să-ți aduc un whisky și un trabuc Trabuc cubanez, să te învat să fumezi Scoate-ți hainele-le, relaxează-te-te Și cu buzele-le, fă ca șarpele, le-le-le-le” and keqing “can you please shut the fuck up taht song makes me so feral and so full with rage i just want to go on a killing spree carving the lyrics of that fucking song in their skin and ripping their organs to then slowly rip their skin off and break each one of their bones and then savagely run to a forest and bury myself in the deepest hole possible that reaches the end of the earth so i can slowly melt and die”   
and childe said “ok” and then “hey girlie its ya boy childe i havent been having some sleep last nights because i just need to know ... this one thing ... looking for looking for youre looking for a boyfriend i see that give me time you know im gonna be there dont be scared to come put your trust in me cant you see all i really wanna be is your boyfriend cant fight that knock me down you know im coming right back i dont care at all what youve done before all i really want is to be your your bo bo bo bo bo boy bo bo boy friend your boy boy bobo boy bo bo boy friend your boboboo obobobobooboboboboobobobpboobobobobob bobo boyfriend” and xiao “oh my god im like trying to ✨record a tiktok✨????? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄⛓” and the “plz just let me b urboyfrie” xja “ok FINE” “yeah im walkifn away” said keqinf and childe “no please stay” he cried “dude you chested on me on so many people THIS IS WHY i wanted to stay on r34” and he “no no no it aint cheatin just a harem” “whatever i have cbt to do” and then off she went to cut kaeya west’s dick

Zhongli walked to an empty castle to find some guards. Tim Cook, Susan whatever-her-last-name-is (i fhink its wabajack), justin bieber, and daniel tiger. “Oh great, just all the people I hate” he hought to hismelf. Tim cock, susan wabbacock, justinn wiener and daniel wanker all, attacked him battle and shit. Then, he noticed someone. “TARTITA DE FRESA???!!!????” He said in surprise. “Yes, after a great concert from mine, I came to look for you. I knew you would do this instead, I know you well.” Said child pornography “That’s awesome because I really wanted to buy—“ “No time for that. It’s time to battle Mark Zuckerberg.” And so off they went. In a gigantic throne was sitting mark zuckerberg, stariing ominously. “So you’ve finally found the mastermind of your infinite death cycle... and instagram, facebook, whatsapp—“ “Yeah yeah, stop the cycle or we’ll have to make you stop it.” Said kid standing closer, while zhongli was like 😐⁉️ how tf does he know but i mean hes your back acout so then “Oh really? Then make me.” FUNNY FIGHTBOOM BOOM BOOM KABBBBBBOOOOOOMMMMMM anf then mark suckedberg “This is all your fault, John Lee. You brought Komaeda into this.” Then he turned childe into nick wilde “aaAAAHHHHHHHHH NO FUCK IM MY 3RD GRADE FURSONA” “WHAT THE FUCK” they were both bleeding a lot and very tired mark is very powerflful so they fell to the floor obviosuly “johnny.... lets just give up..... lets just live the cycle.......” the he tuerns into pizza steve “OH FUCK NO NOW IM MY FOODSONA” “WHAT?!? YOU HAVE A FOODSONA WHAT EVEN IS A FUCKING FOODSONA???!!!!???!!!!” Zhongli said very irritated and tired “listen lets yjust let this man win COUGH and iwe can find a wsy to erss eyour memorCOUGH coughs bleed errase yorh memory so you donf go insane.. COIGH” and jonejy “No pleae dont die remember that day i to,d you how humans came from trees and not from sex lets remember those days pelsse...” and then PAINT VENTI COMES IN “I WILL FIGHT AT YOUR SIDE!!! STAND UP!!!! WE CAN HEAL CHILDE SOON HE WONT DIE, WE NEED TO END THIS FOR GOOD!!!!!” Skounny’s eyes lit up “BARBATOS!!!!!!!” Then more epic battle then venti “hhelp....... bleeds” “I’LL SAVE YOU BOTJH” cried johny “.....m.” Fuckimg dies “VENTIIIIIIIIII” “Kidding its ketchup BETWY THE SHIFT OUR OF MARK SUCKERBER” said paint benti “ok” So Zhongli put his furry mask on, and slowly farted while loudly snd strongly saying “I WILL HAVE ORDER.” 

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM KATAPLUM KATAPLUM BA,M BAM PSOHHHSHSHHHHHDNM,,GNNHMGMGMMGM so mark zuckerbegrbwas dying on thr floor “heh.... ill guess now youll say a really bad pun and let me die......” big dong zhong walked near him “as valentine once to,ld galahad in kingsman and then eggsy told valentine and now im telling you, this aint that kind of movie bruv” (not even a movie) and so he fucking died   
The infinite loop seal was over. Zhongli apologized to komaeda for bringing him to another dimension due to his fangirlimg and causing all the trouble, komaeda gave him a soft kiss in his forehead and said it was ok. Childe had his extreme harem, keqing and amber made millions of dollars by being porn artists, lucreta xiangling (she reminds me to her) is very cool and kept being cool with qiqi mimi, and they all lived happily. Many months laterr.......  
“Zhongli, It’s kicking!!! It’s coming!!!” Said komaed. “Don’t worry baby just keep pushing” “ok NNNNGGHHHHH NGGGHGHHHHHHHH M,M,MMMMMM MNNNGNGGG GHHHH AHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” and he hgave birth to a FUCKING DOG and zhongli ate it “NO GEO DADDY THAT WAS OUR DINNER” said komaeda and so geo papi vomited the rat “ok letss slice it and eat” then they were all eating the sliced fuckkng dog komaeda gave birth to and diluc wouldnt shut up about trump because hes a trump supporter and yhey were all happy eating. Then komaeda received a call, felt jhis phone buzzing...  
“I’ll be back in a sec baby” he told zhongli and his boyfriend soon to be husband nodded. Komaeda walked away from the crowd and answered the call. “Hello? Who is it?” He then heard a voice he knew very well. “Hello Komaeda? It’s me, Hajime.”  
To be continued...................  
Hope u enjoyed :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i also have brain cancer

**Author's Note:**

> I have eye cancer


End file.
